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humor

The attitude the passage takes toward its subject. 0-2 per passage.

detachment 283 works · 18473 curiosity 274 works · 8346 skepticism 270 works · 8016 indignation 267 works · 6225 exhortation 259 works · 5505 censure 247 works · 5103 wonder 251 works · 3867 lament 210 works · 2338 reverence 208 works · 2299 praise 198 works · 1653 irony 111 works · 573 resignation 134 works · 537 humor 94 works · 528 nostalgia 92 works · 169

The Diary of Samuel Pepys primary

Samuel Pepys · 1659-01-01 to 1669 (diary entries)
Act of Indemnity; and in the House of Commons, between the > Act for the rendering none capable of preferment or employment in the State, but who have been loyall and constant to the King and (217/495)

Pepys describes musician hunger, a Lords’ quarrel between Buckingham and Dorchester over the Canary Company leading to Tower detention, fear from seamen gathering, and a later Sunday church service with a sermon aimed at the Earl of Carlisle.

23rd (Lord's day). To church, where a vain fellow with a periwigg preached, Chaplain (as by his prayer appeared) to the Earle of Carlisle. 24th. It being frost and dry, as far as Paul's, and so back again through the City by Guildhall, observing the ruins thereabouts till I did truly lose myself. No news yet of our Gottenburgh fleet; which makes us have some fears, it being of mighty concernment to have our supply…

The Diary of Samuel Pepys primary

Samuel Pepys · 1659-01-01 to 1669 (diary entries)
Act of Indemnity; and in the House of Commons, between the > Act for the rendering none capable of preferment or employment in the State, but who have been loyall and constant to the King and (372/495)

Pepys attends a court performance of the old comedy “Albumazar,” connected in rumor with Jonson’s “Alchymist,” and records general mirth at mimicked tricks during the King’s presence.

thing extraordinary in it, but was indeed wary of it before it was done. The King here; and indeed all of us pretty merry at the mimique tricks of Trinkilo. 23rd. I met with Sir W. Coventry, and he and I walked awhile together in the Matted Gallery; and there he told me all the proceedings yesterday: that the matter is found in general a miscarriage, but no persons named; and so there is no great matter to our pre…

The Diary of Samuel Pepys primary

Samuel Pepys · 1659-01-01 to 1669 (diary entries)
Act of Indemnity; and in the House of Commons, between the > Act for the rendering none capable of preferment or employment in the State, but who have been loyall and constant to the King and (391/495)

On 7th Pepys attends “The English Monsieur,” learns gossip about theatre succession and Castlemaine’s affair with Hart, then on 8th buys a recorder to learn music.

stepping with the Duke of York into St. James's Park, it rained; and I was forced to lend the Duke of York my cloak, which he wore through the Park. 7th. To the King's playhouse, and there saw "The English Monsieur" [A Comedy by James Howard.] (sitting for privacy sake in an upper box): the play hath much mirth in it as to that particular humour. After the play done I down to Knipp, and did stay her undressing h…

The Diary of Samuel Pepys primary

Samuel Pepys · 1659-01-01 to 1669 (diary entries)
Act of Indemnity; and in the House of Commons, between the > Act for the rendering none capable of preferment or employment in the State, but who have been loyall and constant to the King and (492/495)

Pepys resolves to stop wearing gold-laced sleeves to avoid being noticed, gathers may-dew with his wife, hears news of pregnancies at court, visits Lambeth and witnesses a mocked Presbyterian sermon, and receives flattering talk about his navy office.

Park yesterday which vexed me also, so as to resolve never to appear in Court with them, but presently to have them taken off, as it is fit I should. 11th. My wife up by four o'clock, to go to gather May-dew. Some trouble at-Court for fear of the Queene's miscarrying; she being, as they all conclude, far gone with child. 12th. My brother John tells me the first news that my sister Jackson is with child and far g…

The Odyssey primary

Homer · 8th–12th century BCE (composed earlier than c. 750 BCE; traditional authorship generally placed in the 8th century BCE)
BOOK I. > BOOK VIII (7/11)

The gods gather to laugh at Vulcan’s trap, Neptune negotiates Mars’ release by promising damages, and Mars departs for Thrace while Venus goes to Cyprus and is anointed in beauty.

sleep much; there, however, they shall stay till her father has repaid me the sum I gave him for his baggage of a daughter, who is fair but not honest.” On this the gods gathered to the house of Vulcan. Earth-encircling Neptune came, and Mercury the bringer of luck, and King Apollo, but the goddesses staid at home all of them for shame. Then the givers of all good things stood in the doorway, and the blessed gods ro…

The Odyssey primary

Homer · 8th–12th century BCE (composed earlier than c. 750 BCE; traditional authorship generally placed in the 8th century BCE)
BOOK I. > BOOK XVIII (1/7)

Irus the beggar challenges Ulysses to fight for blood-filled goats’ paunches, Antinous treats it as entertainment, Ulysses warns Amphinomus and swears off foul blows, and Telemachus offers protection if anyone attacks.

THE FIGHT WITH IRUS—ULYSSES WARNS AMPHINOMUS—PENELOPE GETS PRESENTS FROM THE SUITORS—THE BRAZIERS—ULYSSES REBUKES EURYMACHUS. Now there came a certain common tramp who used to go begging all over the city of Ithaca, and was notorious as an incorrigible glutton and drunkard. This man had no strength nor stay in him, but he was a great hulking fellow to look at; his real name, the one his mother gave him, was Arnaeus,…

The Odyssey of Homer primary

Homer · Composed in antiquity (date uncertain; likely 8th century BCE)
BOOK I. > BOOK II. (5/9)

Halitherses prophesies Odysseus’ eventual return after a twentieth year of affliction, but Eurymachus mocks him and insists Odysseus is dead; he proposes Telemachus send Penelope away while suitors continue consuming the estate.

after sore affliction, with the loss of all his company, unknown to all, in the twentieth year he should come home. And behold, all these things now have an end.” And Eurymachus, son of Polybus, answered him, saying: “Go now, old man, get thee home and prophesy to thine own children, lest haply they suffer harm hereafter: but herein am I a far better prophet than thou. Howbeit there be many birds that fly to and fro…

The Souls of Black Folk primary

W. E. B. Du Bois (William Edward Burghardt Du Bois) · 1903
(117/130)

In New York, John buys a ticket to attend a performance, misunderstands the situation and is warned not to lynch a “colored gentleman,” then recognizes the white theatergoer as the Judge’s son.

followed them. Up the street they went, past stores and gay shops, across a broad square, until with a hundred others they entered the high portal of a great building. He was pushed toward the ticket-office with the others, and felt in his pocket for the new five-dollar bill he had hoarded. There seemed really no time for hesitation, so he drew it bravely out, passed it to the busy clerk, and received simply a ticke…

The first New Testament printed in English primary

William Tyndale · 1520s; English translation of the Pentateuch and New Testament material issued in the 1520s (later printed English Bible contents in this edition).
Chapter .j. > Chapter 22: (180/335)

Paul is taken to Athens, debates in synagogues and the market, preaches the “unknown God” to philosophers, is met with mockery, then leaves with converts including Dionysius and Damaris.

abode there still. They that guided Paul brought him unto Athens, and received a commandment unto Silas and Timotheus for to come to him at once. And came their way. While Paul waited for them at Athens, his spirit was moved in him to see the city given to worshipping of images. Then he disputed in the synagogue with the jews, and with the devout persons, And in the market daily with them that came unto him. Certain…

The Federalist Papers primary

Alexander Hamilton; John Jay; James Madison · 1787-10-1788-08
(108/342)

He argues that fear of danger from militia discipline is far-fetched, contends that the states’ sole appointment of officers prevents federal domination, and mocks exaggerated scenarios of militia marching across states.

those of their fellow-citizens. This appears to me the only substitute that can be devised for a standing army, and the best possible security against it, if it should exist.” Thus differently from the adversaries of the proposed Constitution should I reason on the same subject, deducing arguments of safety from the very sources which they represent as fraught with danger and perdition. But how the national legislat…

The Federalist Papers primary

Alexander Hamilton; John Jay; James Madison · 1787-1788
(87/338)

He claims only two states prohibit standing armies in peacetime, while others either stay silent or allow the legislature to authorize them, suggesting anti-standing-army alarm is more political noise than substance.

of peace; that the other eleven had either observed a profound silence on the subject, or had in express terms admitted the right of the Legislature to authorize their existence. Still, however he would be persuaded that there must be some plausible foundation for the cry raised on this head. He would never be able to imagine, while any source of information remained unexplored, that it was nothing more than an expe…

The Federalist Papers primary

Alexander Hamilton; John Jay; James Madison · 1787-1788
(106/338)

Hamilton derides alarmist militia scenarios as irrational, stresses that state-appointed officers would reduce federal domination, and portrays opponents’ claims as monsters from distorted pamphlets rather than realistic threats.

those of their fellow-citizens. This appears to me the only substitute that can be devised for a standing army, and the best possible security against it, if it should exist." Thus differently from the adversaries of the proposed Constitution should I reason on the same subject, deducing arguments of safety from the very sources which they represent as fraught with danger and perdition. But how the national legislat…

My Bondage and My Freedom primary

Frederick Douglass · 1855
CHAPTER I. *Childhood* > CHAPTER XXV. *Various Incidents* (5/18)

Douglass recounts how protests and threatened legislation ended “Jim Crow cars” in New England, credits Massachusetts legislator Charles Francis Adams, and shares humorous dining-and-boarding stories revealing caste instincts.

stopping. At the same time that they excluded a free colored man from their cars, this same company allowed slaves, in company with their masters and mistresses, to ride unmolested. After many battles with the railroad conductors, and being roughly handled in not a few instances, proscription was at last abandoned; and the “Jim Crow car”—set up for the degradation of colored people—is nowhere found in New England. T…

My Bondage and My Freedom primary

Frederick Douglass · 1855
CHAPTER I. *Childhood* > CHAPTER XXV. *Various Incidents* (6/18)

He disputes claims that whites have an inherent aversion to Black people by telling how governors and prominent men changed others’ seating respectability, including Gov. George N. Briggs and Col. John Henry Clifford.

strange that a white man and a colored man could dine peaceably at the same table, and in some parts the strangeness of such a sight has not entirely subsided. Some people will have it that there is a natural, an inherent, and an invincible repugnance in the breast of the white race toward dark-colored people; and some very intelligent colored men think that their proscription is owing solely to the color which natu…

Plutarch: Lives of the noble Grecians and Romans primary

Plutarch · c. 100 CE (composed over time)
(471/1424)

Cato the Elder makes biting sayings about punishment, generosity, politics, and personal discipline, including jokes about Roman ambassadors, Greek exiles, fools and wise men, and vice in old age and lawmaking.

that he had rather be deprived of the reward for doing well, than not to suffer the punishment for doing ill; and that he could pardon all offenders but himself. The Romans having sent three ambassadors to Bithynia, of whom one was gouty, another had his skull trepanned, and the other seemed little better than a fool; Cato, laughing, gave out, that the Romans had sent an embassy, which had neither feet, head, nor he…

Plutarch: Lives of the noble Grecians and Romans primary

Plutarch · c. 100 CE (composed over time)
(694/1424)

When Tigranes arrives before Tigranocerta, Lucullus divides his army, camps in a river plain, and uses a river-bend crossing to ambush; Tigranes mocks the Romans as flying, but they form up and fight despite warnings.

and to perform other necessary services, to the number of thirty-five thousand, who, being quartered behind the army, added to its strength, and made it the more formidable to behold. As soon as he had passed Taurus, and appeared with his forces, and saw the Romans beleaguering Tigranocerta, the barbarous people within with shoutings and acclamations received the sight, and threatening the Romans from the wall, poin…

Plutarch: Lives of the noble Grecians and Romans primary

Plutarch · c. 100 CE (composed over time)
(841/1424)

Agesilaus sails to Egypt with ships and Spartan advisers, is mocked on arrival by Egyptian crowds, and despite taking only simple provisions, is later subordinated by Tachos to inferior roles in war and travel.

raising men, with whom having filled his ships, he took also thirty Spartan counselors with him, as formerly he had done in his Asiatic expedition, and set sail for Egypt. As soon as he arrived in Egypt, all the great officers of the kingdom came to pay their compliments to him at his landing. His reputation being so great had raised the expectation of the whole country, and crowds flocked in to see him; but when t…

Plutarch: Lives of the noble Grecians and Romans primary

Plutarch · c. 100 CE (composed over time)
(1215/1424)

More examples show Cicero’s habit of rhetorical reversals and joking attacks in courts and politics, then shift to Clodius’s affair with Pompeia and the resulting prosecution for profaning sacred rites.

a dissolute and profligate character; but in the other, he rather meanly expostulates and complains with Pelops, for neglecting to procure him a decree of certain honors from the Byzantines. Another illustration of his love of praise is the way in which sometimes, to make his orations more striking, he neglected decorum and dignity. When Munatius, who had escaped conviction by his advocacy, immediately prosecuted h…

Second Treatise of Government primary

John Locke · c. 1689–1690
Book II > CHAPTER. VI. (11/11)

Locke says children’s tacit consent makes fathers’ rule nearly natural, and hereditary or elective kingdoms can arise; he even jokes that if rule proves fatherhood, princes should also be priests.

it convenient and behoveful; there being no impossibility in nature considered by itself, but that man might have lived without any public regiment, Hooker’s Eccl. Pol. lib. i. sect. 10.) Sect. 75. Thus it was easy, and almost natural for children, by a tacit, and scarce avoidable consent, to make way for the father’s authority and government. They had been accustomed in their childhood to follow his direction, and …

The Writings of Thomas Paine — Volume 1 (1774-1779): The American Crisis primary

Thomas Paine · 1776 (composed as the American Crisis No. I; within volume bracket 1774–1779)
(12/146)

Paine recounts Lord Howe’s failed attempt to confer with members of the Continental Congress as private gentlemen and mocks his lack of real power to repeal laws.

name of general or provincial congresses, committees, conventions or other associations, by whatever name or names known and distinguished, to desist and cease from all such treasonable actings and doings." You introduce your proclamation by referring to your declarations of the 14th of July and 19th of September. In the last of these you sunk yourself below the character of a private gentleman. That I may not seem …

The Writings of Thomas Paine — Volume 1 (1774-1779): The American Crisis primary

Thomas Paine · 1776 (composed as the American Crisis No. I; within volume bracket 1774–1779)
(136/146)

Continuing to answer Shelburne, Paine mocks the idea that England’s “sun” depends on American recognition, condemns the notion that independence means captivity, and portrays England as childish or servile if it seeks favors from America.

the metaphor would have been strictly just, to have left the sun wholly out of the figure, and have ascribed her not acknowledging it to the influence of the moon. But the expression, if true, is the greatest confession of disgrace that could be made, and furnishes America with the highest notions of sovereign independent importance. Mr. Wedderburne, about the year 1776, made use of an idea of much the same kind,--R…

The Writings of Thomas Paine — Volume 2 (1779-1792): The Rights of Man primary

Thomas Paine · 1790-1792
PART THE FIRST > PART THE SECOND (64/84)

Paine argues rights in society are not transferable like property and cannot be nullified by wills or testament; he mocks the metaphor of a crown/monarchy and claims it is unnecessary, expensive, and increasingly ridiculed in America and declining in France.

will and testament (and which it has not authority to make), to take from the commencing generation, and all future ones, the rights and free agency by which itself acted. But, exclusive of the right which any generation has to act collectively as a testator, the objects to which it applies itself in this case, are not within the compass of any law, or of any will or testament. The rights of men in society, are nei…

The Writings of Thomas Paine — Volume 2 (1779-1792): The Rights of Man primary

Thomas Paine · 1790-1792
PART THE FIRST > CHAPTER III. OF THE OLD AND NEW SYSTEMS OF GOVERNMENT (8/10)

Paine attacks monarchy and regency as farce and perpetual intrigue, contrasts this with representative government’s open, stable maturity, and mocks hereditary rule as literally putting children over citizens.

is better to correct folly with wisdom, than wisdom with folly, I will no otherwise contend with him, than that it would be much better to reject the folly entirely. But what is this thing which Mr. Burke calls monarchy? Will he explain it? All men can understand what representation is; and that it must necessarily include a variety of knowledge and talents. But what security is there for the same qualities on the p…

The Writings of Thomas Paine — Volume 2 (1779-1792): The Rights of Man primary

Thomas Paine · 1790-1792
PART THE FIRST > CHAPTER V. WAYS AND MEANS OF IMPROVING THE CONDITION OF EUROPE (29/49)

Paine urges gradual pre-planned reforms because raising taxation is hard to reverse, mocks monarchical-aristocratic regimes, attacks sending Germans to govern England, and defines a ‘passive’ rational revolution.

of the poor-rates, and the tax on houses and windows, and the commutation tax, would be considerably greater than what this tax, slow, but certain in its operation, amounts to. It appears to me to be prudence to look out for measures that may apply under any circumstances that may approach. There is, at this moment, a crisis in the affairs of Europe that requires it. Preparation now is wisdom. If taxation be once le…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER II. (3/5)

After traveling all day, he finds an inn he thinks is a grand castle, mistakes signals from a pig-herder for a dwarf’s trumpet, and confronts two young women who laugh at his armored appearance.

Full Size Writers there are who say the first adventure he met with was that of Puerto Lapice; others say it was that of the windmills; but what I have ascertained on this point, and what I have found written in the annals of La Mancha, is that he was on the road all day, and towards nightfall his hack and he found themselves dead tired and hungry, when, looking all around to see if he could discover any castle or s…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER II. (4/5)

The landlord comes out and jokes about providing lodging, but Don Quixote improvises chivalric rhetoric, refuses to remove his make-shift helmet, requests food and drinks, and stubbornly eats awkwardly.

and moreover laughter that has little cause is great silliness; this, however, I say not to pain or anger you, for my desire is none other than to serve you.” The incomprehensible language and the unpromising looks of our cavalier only increased the ladies’ laughter, and that increased his irritation, and matters might have gone farther if at that moment the landlord had not come out, who, being a very fat man, was …

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER II. (5/5)

Don Quixote tells the inn’s women that he was served by ladies like legendary poems, explains his horse and name, then argues about troutlet vs fish while a reed-pipe musician convinces him the inn is magical.

there knight So served by hand of dame, As served was he, Don Quixote hight, When from his town he came; With maidens waiting on himself, Princesses on his hack— —or Rocinante, for that, ladies mine, is my horse’s name, and Don Quixote of La Mancha is my own; for though I had no intention of declaring myself until my achievements in your service and honour had made me known, the necessity of adapting that old ballad…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER III. (2/5)

The landlord plays along with Don Quixote’s delusions, pretending that knights-errant roam widely, listing Spanish places, and explaining that even knights carry money, shirts, and ointment or rely on magic healers.

quarters of the world seeking adventures on behalf of those in distress, as is the duty of chivalry and of knights-errant like myself, whose ambition is directed to such deeds.” The landlord, who, as has been mentioned, was something of a wag, and had already some suspicion of his guest’s want of wits, was quite convinced of it on hearing talk of this kind from him, and to make sport for the night he determined to f…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER III. (5/5)

The castellan performs a mock knighting using a straw-and-barley account book, giving Don Quixote a blow on the neck and a slap on the shoulder, then outfits him with a sword, spurs, and two ladies called La Tolosa and La Molinera.

felt himself to be dubbed knight, he would not, he thought, leave a soul alive in the castle, except such as out of respect he might spare at his bidding. Thus warned and menaced, the castellan forthwith brought out a book in which he used to enter the straw and barley he served out to the carriers, and, with a lad carrying a candle-end, and the two damsels already mentioned, he returned to where Don Quixote stood, …

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER IV. (5/5)

When the traders joke about showing Dulcinea via a portrait, Don Quixote attacks and is thrown down with his lance; a muleteer then batters him on the ribs with broken lance pieces while the traders continue.

Full Size One of the muleteers in attendance, who could not have had much good nature in him, hearing the poor prostrate man blustering in this style, was unable to refrain from giving him an answer on his ribs; and coming up to him he seized his lance, and having broken it in pieces, with one of them he began so to belabour our Don Quixote that, notwithstanding and in spite of his armour, he milled him like a measu…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER V. (2/3)

A peasant from Quixote’s village finds him and tries to help, but Don Quixote mistakes him for his romantic-novel captors and keeps reciting speeches from Abindarraez to Rodrigo de Narvaez.

Full Size Nor was Don Quixote less so, for what with blows and bruises he could not sit upright on the ass, and from time to time he sent up sighs to heaven, so that once more he drove the peasant to ask what ailed him. And it could have been only the devil himself that put into his head tales to match his own adventures, for now, forgetting Baldwin, he bethought himself of the Moor Abindarraez, when the Alcaide of …

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER VI. (5/5)

They stop for Don Quixote’s second outbreak during the reading, then later wall up the library space as books are burned, and when he wakes he claims a magician stole the room.

“The ‘Galatea’ of Miguel de Cervantes,” said the barber. “That Cervantes has been for many years a great friend of mine, and to my knowledge he has had more experience in reverses than in verses. His book has some good invention in it, it presents us with something but brings nothing to a conclusion: we must wait for the Second Part it promises: perhaps with amendment it may succeed in winning the full measure of gr…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER VII. (3/4)

Don Quixote persuades the poor farm laborer Sancho Panza to become his esquire with promises of winning an island and governing it, while Don Quixote prepares equipment and they secretly depart at night.

revival of knight-errantry. The curate sometimes contradicted him, sometimes agreed with him, for if he had not observed this precaution he would have been unable to bring him to reason. Meanwhile Don Quixote worked upon a farm labourer, a neighbour of his, an honest man (if indeed that title can be given to him who is poor), but with very little wit in his pate. In a word, he so talked him over, and with such persu…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER VII. (4/4)

Don Quixote explains that old-style knights-errant make squires governors, imagining he will win a kingdom in days so Sancho can be crowned king, and Sancho jokes about the poor suitability of his wife, Mari Gutierrez, for queenhood.

master, “Your worship will take care, Señor Knight-errant, not to forget about the island you have promised me, for be it ever so big I’ll be equal to governing it.” To which Don Quixote replied, “Thou must know, friend Sancho Panza, that it was a practice very much in vogue with the knights-errant of old to make their squires governors of the islands or kingdoms they won, and I am determined that there shall be no …

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER VIII. (1/6)

Seeing windmills, Don Quixote believes they are giants meant for righteous battle, charges with Rocinante, and is thrown after his lance is broken by the turning sails.

OF THE GOOD FORTUNE WHICH THE VALIANT DON QUIXOTE HAD IN THE TERRIBLE AND UNDREAMT-OF ADVENTURE OF THE WINDMILLS, WITH OTHER OCCURRENCES WORTHY TO BE FITLY RECORDED c08a.jpg (142K) Full Size At this point they came in sight of thirty or forty windmills that there are on that plain, and as soon as Don Quixote saw them he said to his squire, “Fortune is arranging matters for us better than we could have shaped our d…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER VIII. (4/6)

Near Puerto Lápice Don Quixote tells Sancho he must not defend him against knights, and when two Benedictine friars and a coach appear, Don Quixote wrongly thinks magicians are kidnapping a princess and attacks a friar.

“I will do so, I promise you,” answered Sancho, “and will keep this precept as carefully as Sunday.” While they were thus talking there appeared on the road two friars of the order of St. Benedict, mounted on two dromedaries, for not less tall were the two mules they rode on. They wore travelling spectacles and carried sunshades; and behind them came a coach attended by four or five persons on horseback and two mule…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER VIII. (5/6)

Don Quixote confronts the coach lady he believes was rescued, demands she return to El Toboso to tell Dulcinea, and battles a Biscayan squire (Agrajes) who insists the coach not turn back.

the onslaught; then, not caring to wait for the end of the affair just begun, they pursued their journey making more crosses than if they had the devil after them. Don Quixote was, as has been said, speaking to the lady in the coach: “Your beauty, lady mine,” said he, “may now dispose of your person as may be most in accordance with your pleasure, for the pride of your ravishers lies prostrate on the ground through …

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER VIII. (6/6)

The Biscayan and Don Quixote fight fiercely with cushions as protection, the lady and attendants fear for her, Don Quixote calls upon Dulcinea after being struck, and the author stops the battle to claim missing sources.

Agrajes,’” replied Don Quixote; and throwing his lance on the ground he drew his sword, braced his buckler on his arm, and attacked the Biscayan, bent upon taking his life. The Biscayan, when he saw him coming on, though he wished to dismount from his mule, in which, being one of those sorry ones let out for hire, he had no confidence, had no choice but to draw his sword; it was lucky for him, however, that he was n…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER X. (1/4)

Sancho asks Don Quixote for the promised island governorship after the fight, while Don Quixote reframes it as the crossroads rather than islands and warns of further adventures and possible higher rewards.

OF THE PLEASANT DISCOURSE THAT PASSED BETWEEN DON QUIXOTE AND HIS SQUIRE SANCHO PANZA c10a.jpg (91K) Full Size Now by this time Sancho had risen, rather the worse for the handling of the friars’ muleteers, and stood watching the battle of his master, Don Quixote, and praying to God in his heart that it might be his will to grant him the victory, and that he might thereby win some island to make him governor of, as…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER X. (2/4)

Don Quixote debates the Holy Brotherhood and proposes his balsam of Fierabras remedy, swearing he can survive being cut in half, while Sancho argues for the practicality and cost of learning it.

worship is to dress your wound, for a great deal of blood flows from that ear, and I have here some lint and a little white ointment in the alforjas.” “All that might be well dispensed with,” said Don Quixote, “if I had remembered to make a vial of the balsam of Fierabras, for time and medicine are saved by one single drop.” “What vial and what balsam is that?” said Sancho Panza. “It is a balsam,” answered Don Qui…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER X. (3/4)

Don Quixote continues his oath logic and plans to hunt for food and lodging, teaching that knight-errants can go without eating, while Sancho negotiates practical provisions and dry-food habits.

so, for I have one to imitate in the matter, since the very same thing to a hair happened in the case of Mambrino’s helmet, which cost Sacripante so dear.” “Señor,” replied Sancho, “let your worship send all such oaths to the devil, for they are very pernicious to salvation and prejudicial to the conscience; just tell me now, if for several days to come we fall in with no man armed with a helmet, what are we to do? …

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER X. (4/4)

The pair eat their sparse dry fare, then fail to reach a house and choose to spend the night near goatherds, with Sancho displeased and Don Quixote pleased at sleeping under open heaven.

of dry fruit for your worship, as you are a knight; and for myself, as I am not one, I will furnish them with poultry and other things more substantial.” “I do not say, Sancho,” replied Don Quixote, “that it is imperative on knights-errant not to eat anything else but the fruits thou speakest of; only that their more usual diet must be those, and certain herbs they found in the fields which they knew and I know too.…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER XV. (1/6)

After leaving the burial site, Don Quixote and Sancho search for Marcela, stop by a stream at midday, eat from their packs, and then Rocinante is attacked by carriers’ Galician ponies and the Yanguesans beat the knight.

IN WHICH IS RELATED THE UNFORTUNATE ADVENTURE THAT DON QUIXOTE FELL IN WITH WHEN HE FELL OUT WITH CERTAIN HEARTLESS YANGUESANS c15a.jpg (81K) Full Size The sage Cid Hamete Benengeli relates that as soon as Don Quixote took leave of his hosts and all who had been present at the burial of Chrysostom, he and his squire passed into the same wood which they had seen the shepherdess Marcela enter, and after having wande…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER XV. (6/6)

After traveling a short league, Sancho and Don Quixote spot an inn, which Don Quixote insists is a castle, and their dispute ends when they enter together with Sancho leading his team.

Full Size To be brief, Sancho fixed Don Quixote on the ass and secured Rocinante with a leading rein, and taking the ass by the halter, he proceeded more or less in the direction in which it seemed to him the high road might be; and, as chance was conducting their affairs for them from good to better, he had not gone a short league when the road came in sight, and on it he perceived an inn, which to his annoyance an…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER XVII. (1/6)

After recovering, Don Quixote tells Sancho to keep secret an “adventure” where the daughter of the lord of the castle supposedly visited him, but he interprets a giant’s cuff as enchanted attack and Sancho jokes about Moors thrashing them.

IN WHICH ARE CONTAINED THE INNUMERABLE TROUBLES WHICH THE BRAVE DON QUIXOTE AND HIS GOOD SQUIRE SANCHO PANZA ENDURED IN THE INN, WHICH TO HIS MISFORTUNE HE TOOK TO BE A CASTLE c17a.jpg (87K) Full Size By this time Don Quixote had recovered from his swoon; and in the same tone of voice in which he had called to his squire the day before when he lay stretched “in the vale of the stakes,” he began calling to him now,…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER XVII. (6/6)

Four woolcarders, three needle-makers, and other playful townspeople blanket Sancho and hoist him like a game; Don Quixote arrives, cannot intervene, and Sancho rejects Don Quixote’s warning about water, then exits while the innkeeper tries to detain his bundles.

Full Size The cries of the poor blanketed wretch were so loud that they reached the ears of his master, who, halting to listen attentively, was persuaded that some new adventure was coming, until he clearly perceived that it was his squire who uttered them. Wheeling about he came up to the inn with a laborious gallop, and finding it shut went round it to see if he could find some way of getting in; but as soon as he…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER XVIII. (1/8)

On the road, Don Quixote concludes the innyard is enchanted because men could not help him climb or dismount to rescue Sancho; Sancho counters that the attackers were real people with named identities and urges they return home to work.

IN WHICH IS RELATED THE DISCOURSE SANCHO PANZA HELD WITH HIS MASTER, DON QUIXOTE, AND OTHER ADVENTURES WORTH RELATING c18a.jpg (79K) Full Size Sancho reached his master so limp and faint that he could not urge on his beast. When Don Quixote saw the state he was in he said, “I have now come to the conclusion, good Sancho, that this castle or inn is beyond a doubt enchanted, because those who have so atrociously div…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER XVIII. (5/8)

Sancho notes the scene is only sheep and asks Don Quixote to stop; Don Quixote blames fear for sensory error, charges into the flock with lance in rest, and the shepherds respond with slings and stones.

course, those that tremble with the cold of the pineclad Pyrenees or the dazzling snows of the lofty Apennine; in a word, as many as all Europe includes and contains.” Good God! what a number of countries and nations he named! giving to each its proper attributes with marvellous readiness; brimful and saturated with what he had read in his lying books! Sancho Panza hung upon his words without speaking, and from time…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER XVIII. (7/8)

After Sancho inspects Don Quixote’s mouth, the balsam vomits out, Sancho thinks it is blood and loathes it; they lose Sancho’s missing alforjas, discuss hunger, and Don Quixote argues providence and divine care.

the very instant when Sancho came to examine his mouth, he discharged all its contents with more force than a musket, and full into the beard of the compassionate squire. “Holy Mary!” cried Sancho, “what is this that has happened me? Clearly this sinner is mortally wounded, as he vomits blood from the mouth;” but considering the matter a little more closely he perceived by the colour, taste, and smell, that it was n…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER XIX. (1/6)

Sancho suggests recent mishaps are punishment for Don Quixote’s broken chivalric oath about eating at a table and embracing a “queen,” and at night they see moving torch-lights and moving shapes on the king’s highway.

OF THE SHREWD DISCOURSE WHICH SANCHO HELD WITH HIS MASTER, AND OF THE ADVENTURE THAT BEFELL HIM WITH A DEAD BODY, TOGETHER WITH OTHER NOTABLE OCCURRENCES “It seems to me, señor, that all these mishaps that have befallen us of late have been without any doubt a punishment for the offence committed by your worship against the order of chivalry in not keeping the oath you made not to eat bread off a tablecloth or embra…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER XIX. (3/6)

When the mule rears and throws its rider, Don Quixote attacks the mourners and routs the encamisados, convinced they are devils; a bachelor named Alonzo Lopez is found with a broken leg and explains they carry bones to Segovia.

by the bridle he said, “Halt, and be more mannerly, and render an account of what I have asked of you; else, take my defiance to combat, all of you.” The mule was shy, and was so frightened at her bridle being seized that rearing up she flung her rider to the ground over her haunches. An attendant who was on foot, seeing the encamisado fall, began to abuse Don Quixote, who now moved to anger, without any more ado, l…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER XIX. (5/6)

Sancho explains why he calls Don Quixote the “Knight of the Rueful Countenance,” and Don Quixote replies that an author and chivalric naming scheme require such a title; they plan to paint a rueful face on his shield and move on.

said, without making any reply; and Don Quixote asked Sancho what had induced him to call him the “Knight of the Rueful Countenance” more then than at any other time. “I will tell you,” answered Sancho; “it was because I have been looking at you for some time by the light of the torch held by that unfortunate, and verily your worship has got of late the most ill-favoured countenance I ever saw: it must be either owi…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER XX. (7/10)

After the sounds and smell of Sancho’s predicament, Don Quixote jokes angrily about fear and contamination, they pass the night talking, and at daybreak Don Quixote unties Rocinante to continue the adventure.

“I am,” answered Sancho; “but how does your worship perceive it now more than ever?” “Because just now thou smellest stronger than ever, and not of ambergris,” answered Don Quixote. “Very likely,” said Sancho, “but that’s not my fault, but your worship’s, for leading me about at unseasonable hours and at such unwonted paces.” “Then go back three or four, my friend,” said Don Quixote, all the time with his fingers …

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER XX. (8/10)

Walking toward the water and hammering, Don Quixote and Sancho find fulling-mill houses where six fulling hammers pound cloth, causing Don Quixote to be mortified and Sancho to laugh until Don Quixote strikes him with his pike.

contrary, hiding what he felt as well as he could, he began to move towards that quarter whence the sound of the water and of the strokes seemed to come. Sancho followed him on foot, leading by the halter, as his custom was, his ass, his constant comrade in prosperity or adversity; and advancing some distance through the shady chestnut trees they came upon a little meadow at the foot of some high rocks, down which a…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER XXI. (3/9)

Sancho laughs when Don Quixote calls the barber’s basin a helmet, and Don Quixote proposes having it repaired by a blacksmith while discussing past mockery, protection from stones, and what to do with the abandoned “dapple-grey steed.”

“I am laughing,” said he, “to think of the great head the pagan must have had who owned this helmet, for it looks exactly like a regular barber’s basin.” “Dost thou know what I suspect, Sancho?” said Don Quixote; “that this wonderful piece of this enchanted helmet must by some strange accident have come into the hands of someone who was unable to recognise or realise its value, and who, not knowing what he did, and …

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER XXIX. (3/9)

Sancho Panza reports Don Quixote is starving and begging for Dulcinea, so Dorothea disguises as the Princess Micomicona to stage a chivalric scheme, and the curate explains the “Micomicon” kingdom task to Sancho.

Full Size At this moment they heard a shout, and recognised it as coming from Sancho Panza, who, not finding them where he had left them, was calling aloud to them. They went to meet him, and in answer to their inquiries about Don Quixote, he told them how he had found him stripped to his shirt, lank, yellow, half dead with hunger, and sighing for his lady Dulcinea; and although he had told him that she commanded hi…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER XXIX. (7/9)

Don Quixote and the curate argue about traveling on horseback versus on foot, the mule kicks causing the barber’s beard to fall, and the curate repairs it with a “charm,” restoring the disguise before departure.

on which Don Quixote said, “Permit me, señor licentiate, for it is not fitting that I should be on horseback and so reverend a person as your worship on foot.” “On no account will I allow it,” said the curate; “your mightiness must remain on horseback, for it is on horseback you achieve the greatest deeds and adventures that have been beheld in our age; as for me, an unworthy priest, it will serve me well enough to …

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER XXX. (6/7)

After making peace, Don Quixote questions Sancho about Dulcinea’s whereabouts, and then they encounter Gines de Pasamonte disguised as a gypsy hiding on Sancho’s ass, Dapple.

know nothing save that I am her servant; and put your trust in God, for you will not fail to obtain some dignity so as to live like a prince.” Sancho advanced hanging his head and begged his master’s hand, which Don Quixote with dignity presented to him, giving him his blessing as soon as he had kissed it; he then bade him go on ahead a little, as he had questions to ask him and matters of great importance to discus…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER XXXI. (4/7)

Sancho urges Don Quixote to marry quickly for practical profit, while they bargain about becoming king after killing a giant, and Don Quixote explains chivalric service to Dulcinea should be publicly honored yet privately imagined.

all that I have won, am winning, or shall win by arms in this life, comes to me of the favour she extends to me, and because I am hers.” “Ah! what a sad state your worship’s brains are in!” said Sancho. “Tell me, señor, do you mean to travel all that way for nothing, and to let slip and lose so rich and great a match as this where they give as a portion a kingdom that in sober truth I have heard say is more than twe…

Don Quixote primary

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra · c. 1605–1615
CHAPTER I WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND > CHAPTER XXXV. (1/7)

Sancho bursts in from the garret claiming Don Quixote has decapitated a giant, while the curate doubts it because the giant is “two thousand leagues” away.

WHICH TREATS OF THE HEROIC AND PRODIGIOUS BATTLE DON QUIXOTE HAD WITH CERTAIN SKINS OF RED WINE, AND BRINGS THE NOVEL OF “THE ILL-ADVISED CURIOSITY” TO A CLOSE There remained but little more of the novel to be read, when Sancho Panza burst forth in wild excitement from the garret where Don Quixote was lying, shouting, “Run, sirs! quick; and help my master, who is in the thick of the toughest and stiffest battle I ev…